Does this match?

Getting dressed successfully in the dark is actually a great accomplishment. First of all, you need to get the right garments: the right number of underthings (bra, undershirt, undies), two socks, one top, one bottom, two shoes, and maybe one jacket. Not including accessories. Secondly, and the thing I often find most difficult, you need to put these things on properly. Undershirts are easy to get mixed up with regular t-shirts. Did you get all your buttons in the right holes? Oh, nope. You missed that one in the middle. Gotta do it over again. Socks are interchangeable, but are you sure you didn't put them on inside out? How about your underwear? Are they on right or maybe they're either backwards or inside out? Maybe it's all of the above. Oopsies. Kind of as an after though, do all of your clothes match now that you've put them on properly? Black, red, blue, green, purple... they all look the same at 5:30am in the faint reflected glow of the porch light as it bounces down the hall.

If you're one of those who doesn't like additional light when you first get up, setting your clothes out the night before is a huge help. If that's too put-together for you, make sure you're really familiar with your wardrobe. Know where everything is and know what the different articles feel like. Sadly, Method Two is how I keep from being naked all day. I know that the clean laundry is on the chair by my bed. I know that the rough socks are the ugly green ones. I can tell by feel which shirts I don't want to wear. I can't really tell which are the ones I do want to wear, but the uncertainty at least lessened some.

But you know what? You have my slacker respect if you put on whatever is on your way out the door. Doesn't matter if it's backwards, doesn't matter if it's clean. You're out of bed and dressed. What more can we ask of you?

Extended Sales Force

Maybe you've been to an electronic store like Fry's or Best Buy recently and seen new sales guys with different uniforms and been like "What's up with that?" Well, probably not, but I'll explain anyway.

The guys in the white polo shirts with the assorted computer company logos on them are employed by the guys on the shirt rather than the logo on the building. The guy in the Lexmark shirt is not being trained on the sales floor at Fry's by the guy in the suit even though it might look that way. The white shirt guys are hired and trained by their respective companies to be experts about their products and are placed in the different storefronts as part of the Extended Sales Force, ESF, to answer questions about the ins and outs of the different machinery. Wait, they're getting people who know what they're talking about to talk to you about the merchandise? *shock*

If you want to know about the new Epson printer, find the white shirt with Epson on it. If you want to know about the new HP laptop, don't ask the Epson guy where you can find him cuz chances are, you'll never find him.

If you happen to be at Fry's or any other store where a regular store employee is stalking you, it's probably because they're trying to hunt you down and take the commission.

Fried Worm Sandwiches

It's a little late for Halloween but this is definitely something to remember the next time you have some kids to entertain. I admit that I haven't tried it yet, but I heard one of the best uses for hot dogs.

Cut the hot dogs lengthwise into quarters.
Dip them into a mix of mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard and then fry them in a skillet with a little bit of oil.
The hot dog strips will curl up a little and the condiments will add color so they look like disgusting, dirty worms.
Serve on a bun with some relish and you have one fried worm sandwich with a bit of mold for garnish.