Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows or outrageous fortune, or to take Zoloft against the sea of troubles, and by opposing be oblivious to them?
At least, that's how it would read if Hamlet had been depressed instead of crazy. It's a question we have been contemplating a lot now that both of my grandmothers have moved in with us. Grandma J has been here for four years now and Grandma M for a week. Both suffer from some form of dementia, just not the same form. In this stage of their lives, quantity and quality of life begin to conflict.
Grandma J is on Zoloft and has been on and off a variety of Alzheimer's preventative medications in the past. The brain deterioration due to depression combined with the imbalance in her brain chemistry make her dementia more emotional. When she is on the medication that makes her think clearly, she is depressed and will sleep/mope and be rebellious. When she is on the meds that make her happy, she will be fatigued (which may or may not maker her sleep), unclear in her thinking, but in decent spirits.
Grandma M isn't on any medication and may mostly be suffering from malnutrition since she has been living alone for the past five years and not taking care of herself too well. Her dementia seems to be more like true Alzheimer's in that she doesn't want to eat and forgets important things, like that she lives here now and how to get back to her room in the dark. After eating, she thinks more because the nutrient is fueling her body. However, she doesn't have full capacity so she knows she doesn't want to be here but forgets that nothing will happen when she demands to go home. After the food wears off, she is more biddable but sometimes seems to be catatonic (yesterday, she sat in her chair for an hour almost without moving). Once again, the deteriorated state puts her in a more pleasant frame of mind.
Which state is better: to be lucid and miserable or out of it and content?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
To be or to be happy: that is the question
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